Page last updated 28th August 1999
And the barman says "No"
And the duck says "Got any bread?"
And the barman, "No!".
"Got any bread?"
"I said, N-O NO!"
"Got any bread?"
"For cryin' out loud - N-O spells NO and I mean NO! !"
"Got any bread?"
"NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!"
"Got any bread?"
"Look, if you ask me one more effiing time if I've got any bread,
I'm going to nail your effing beak to the effing bar!! WE HAVE NO
EFFING BREAD!!!"
"Got any nails?"
"No!"
Wait for it !
"Got any bread?"
There was once an infinitessimally small point
of no fixed abode. It got bored and decided to jump
around a bit and created an infinitessimally thin line
of infinite length.
After a while the line jumped around too and produced
an infinitessimally thin plane of infinite area.
This area soon got bored and jumped around making an
infinitessimally light space of infinite volume.
The space jumped around creating an infinitessimally
small ????? of infinite space-mass.
This prompts three questions:
1. What's after mass ?
2. Where did the infinitessimally small point come from ?
3. Where's the time ?
I recommend mind over matter:
"I don't mind because it doesn't matter !"
Desperate seeker of reason asks God "Why ?"
God replies "Why Not ?"
or "Why did you create the universe ?"
1. "To find out why I'm here"
2. "It seemed a good idea at the time"
3. "Because I could"
4. "Well it makes a nice change"
Professor Murphy's Law: "There's always another variable"
Definate proof that its all one:
infinite points * infinitely small = 1 (any units !)
Remember:
"If the universe was pointless
then it would cease to exist !"
What would make the universe bigger ?
Increasing the number of points !
Philosophy taking into consideration
the Uncertainty Principle:
I think therefore something is,
part of which may be me.
If the universe is truly infinite then how many
copies of itself can it contain ?
If you ask a theoretical physicist what they are
thinking and they reply "About something and nothing"
then leave them alone as they are concentrating very hard !
Remember:
"There ain't no such thing as a free particle."
Nothing is unchangeable because nothing doesn't exist.
OR
Nothing is unchangeable because something exists.
And finally:
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb ?
It can't be done. It's a hardware problem.
OR
It can't be done. It's virtually impossible.
Th Th That's all folks !
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